I have just come back from a weekend house-sitting stint in Darkest Gloucestershire and due to fog, the journey up there took a good three quarters of an hour longer than it usually does.
At one point, I was peering into the gloom ahead of me and concentrating with everything I had when I was distracted by a motorway sign way above my head.
‘FOG’ it told me proudly. As if none of us knew! Visibility was less than twenty metres and traffic was crawling along, yet some pen-pushing paper-shuffler in his nice warm office spends time, designing a sign that informs in very large letters what Nature has already made abundantly apparent.
God protect me from fools in offices!
As we enter the last week of election campaigning, God protect us all from modern politicians too. Not only in Britain but throughout the ruddy world. I understand little about American politics but the American people elected Donald Trump without being subjected to the thuggery and intimidation so prevalent in my own country.
Trump is a braggart and in many ways a bit of an ass, but like him or not, he has done most of the things he promised and seems to me to have proven himself a better president than his immediate predecessors.
Yet when he attended the recent NATO summit in London, he was subjected to ridicule by a quartet of political buffoons and stomped off in a huff.
Presidential hopeful Joe Biden was quick off the mark with his political ad mocking President Trump. Only hours after Trump returned to America, the contemptuous footage was being rolled out across the globe in a damage maximisation bid.
‘Look, the world is laughing at him, world leaders cannot trust him,’ crowed Biden, showing footage of Bunter Johnson, Macron of France, Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte and Canada’s Justin Trudeau sniggering behind Trump’s back at a Buckingham Palace reception. Their remarks were caught on an open mic because they were all too idiotic to realise that the presence of so many TV cameras tends to suggest that a number of microphones will be dotted around the room too. Yes, the saga certainly said something about the kind of man Trump is, but it said far more about his smug tormentors.
It seemed somehow pathetic to see this sad quartet of losers and chancers, who found safety in numbers and their joint ineptitude jeering at a political colleague who wasn’t there to defend himself.
Princess Anne is one of the few hard working Royals, but she didn’t do herself any favours either, hovering around at the edges of this group, snickering away with the best of them. Perhaps she had forgotten that her calamity-prone younger brother Andrew was banned from the event because he is up to his sweat-free neck in a rolling boil of sleaze and scandal.
Bunter was in the thick of it, of course. Yet with his priapic tendencies and chaotic private life, he has little call to laugh at anyone. Many of us live in hope that come Friday, a solid majority and a good wind behind him will be the making of Bunter, both as a human being and a politician. But I certainly won’t be holding my breath.
Meanwhile Emmanuel Macron’s two-year presidency has been disastrous, with a strike that will bring the country to its knees, but worst of all is Trudeau, the idiotic Canadian leader who does yoga, had sympathy pains when his wife was in labour, wants to ban the word mankind because it is sexist and seemed to spend most of his youth wearing blackface make up at parties and then abjectly apologising for it.
Instead of laughing at Trump, this pratwinkle should be studying his economic record. For while America’s economy is booming, Trudeau has driven Canada’s into prairie dust.
Yet many professional Trump haters admired this pathetic display of playground nastiness as further proof of Trump being unfit for office. Well perhaps he is. I don’t know but hopefully the impeachment hearings will decide his future one way or the other.
In the meantime, whatever happened to statesmanship, to ‘cometh the hour, cometh the man,’ to strength of character, rising to the occasion and doing one’s country proud? All that seems to have disappeared from public life a long time ago.
Instead, we are left with this shower of half-baked twonks. The political class of today are more than just a disappointment – they are a disgrace to their profession and their respective countries.
And we have to elect more of them on Thursday.