How can I escape from the hypocrisy and cant of the climate change/global warming and other weather related zealots who seem to pervade daily life for the rest of us and would change the way we breathe if they could?

Climate change has always happened I’m afraid. I am no ‘flat earth theorist’ but I am reasonably well read and through the millennia, temperatures have fluctuated to a considerable degree. That is still happening and always will I’m afraid. Yes, Mankind is probably accelerating things, but that is because there are too ruddy many of us.

Now we learn that Google have staged a conference to discuss the matter and their guest list was a closely guarded secret. The idiotic ‘Royal,’ Prince Harry gave a barefoot speech to the delegates who were all highly important – at least in their own view – and very rich people. I wonder whether Harry’s lack of shoes was to emphasise the fact that he is but an ordinary fellow.

Only a few days ago this earnest pratwinkle told the world that he and Meghan were only going to have two children in order to ‘help the planet.’ To me that smacks of a calculated insult to those folk who enjoy large families. Now he gives what was described as a ‘passionate speech’ to a carefully selected audience of film stars, models and hyper wealthy businessmen.

Are any of them going to pay one iota of attention to what he so earnestly says? Not a chance I’m afraid. This allegedly green ‘camp’ was attended by hundreds of celebrities showing off to the rest of us – but many of them failed to leave their private jets at home.

No fewer than one hundred and fourteen gas-guzzling private jets flew in to nearby Palermo airport. There was also a veritable armada of luxury yachts plus helicopters, slightly smaller vessels and the like. The guests had to pay their own costs to get there, but once ashore, everything was paid for including a fleet of Maserati sports cars for them to explore the island of Sicily.

Apparently one of the speeches was by ‘supermodel’ Naomi Campbell about Nelson Mandela. I would have liked to hear that and wonder if she wore shoes. I am not one of the ‘Saint Mandela’ brigade I’m afraid and for all the peace-brokering he did in his final years, I can’t forget that he admitted planting a bomb in a crowded railways station. Had that gone off, he certainly would not have ended up as admired and revered as he was!

But back to the ‘camp’ in Sicily.

The event, created by Google co-founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin, sees some of the world’s wealthiest business leaders and tech gurus discussing various issues in morning sessions before relaxing in the Italian sunshine in the afternoon.

The camp – how can they call it that damnit? – is focussing on how to tackle global warming but one way would surely be for delegates to leave all their fancy transport behind.

One attendee said: ‘There will likely be discussions about online privacy, politics, human rights, and of course, the environment, which makes it highly ironic that this event requires 114 private jets to happen.’

Luxury megayacht the Andromeda, which is owned by billionaire Kiwi Graeme Hart has been spotted just off shore, as has Barry Diller’s sailing vessel Eos. David Geffen’s Rising Sun did swing by briefly on Monday to drop off a couple of pop stars, but then continued on its way up the Italian coast. These vessels give off as much in the way of carbon emissions as a large fleet of buses damnit!

On the final night, Google spends close to $100,000 renting the 2,500-year-old Valley of the Temples ruins for a concert and sit-down meal. How is this helping the world I wonder.

After morning sessions, afternoons are free for guests to relax around the complex and spa, with trips around the coast, to local wineries and to tourist hot spots on offer. How the other visitors must love that.

The resort where this ‘camp’ is held boasts two eighteen hole golf courses, a tennis academy and one of the largest spa complexes in all of Europe on its mile and a half of private coastline.

There are a number of suites and private rooms as well as three villas for guests to stay.

Those villas look out on to individual pools as well as the property’s massive infinity pool and stunning private beach, filled with imported white sand, a jetty and even a small carpet to take pampered stars into the crystal blue ocean waters. Otherwise I suppose they might get sand between their toes – yeeeugh!

Please folk, let us ordinary people get on with our lives without you flaunting your liberal green ideas in crass luxury. And if you really want to camp, come with me on one of my silly little adventures. Or stay in a military camp in a war zone. You won’t enjoy either experience but at least then, you can claim to have been in a camp.

Meanwhile, more than two hundred climate change protesters were left red-faced when they chained themselves to the wrong building in the City of London.

They had planned to stage a demonstration against the energy firm Drax, which wants to build a giant gas plant in Yorkshire.

They only discovered that Drax had moved offices after blocking the front and back entrance with a few of them chaining themselves to doors and windows. All these hapless idiots succeeded in doing was bring chaos to a leading renewable energy company from Denmark who had taken over the Drax building. One worker expressed sympathy towards their aim but added, it would help if they checked their facts.

For the record, Drax had moved to another building two blocks away and the protesters did find it eventually. I didn’t read what happened next because I was so busy shaking my head in wry despair at these silly fanatics.

Please spare us ordinary folk from all this nonsense.