Politicians and Wildlife

I have a photograph in my wildlife collection that I took while walking the Zambezi. It depicts a group of baboons sitting on rocks in one of the gorges and I can remember the moment oh so well. The bobbos (bless ‘em) were shouting insults at each other – and presumably at me – without any of them moving from their particular rock. Each of them was obviously trying to look terribly important.

I often show the photo in my Zambezi Talks and compare it to the noisy and self-important banality of the weekly Prime Ministers’ Questions in the Westminster Parliament, but I listened to PMQs yesterday and can only apologise to the baboons. They were so much more restrained and dignified than the yammering rabble that was on display in the ‘Mother of Parliaments’ yesterday.

It didn’t seem to matter whether they were Conservative, Labour, Lib Dem or none of the above. Nor did it matter if they were Brexiteer or Remainer, all they wanted to do was shout each other down. I have been on this earth for a very long time but I don’t think I have ever witnessed such a puerile display of appalling manners and behaviour as I did yesterday.

If these are the leaders of a nation, there is no hope for the nation itself or for those of us who live in it. Let’s have Bunter Boris’ general election and get rid of the lot of them. They are surely a national embarrassment.

What sort of example do these bloated hooligans give to future generations? What sort of example do they give to the world damnit? And it is not just the reputation of Parliament itself. Britain’s standing in the world as a beacon of democracy is being dragged through the mud. Three years and three months since a Tory government was given a clear instruction to get Britain out of the EU and all its works, it still hasn’t done it. Now all they can do is shout insults at each other like a pack of baboons.

As for Brexit – I voted to leave and have never made any secret of that but I feel in my heart now that it is not going to happen. Bunter Boris has the right idea and gave me hope for a while, but I think his biggest mistake so far was employing a man who one former minister described yesterday as ‘a foul-mouthed thug’ as his chief adviser. I refer of course to Dominic Cummings who really does seem to think that he runs the country rather than the prime minister. Perhaps he does, but he reminds me too much of Anthony Blair’s chief adviser Alastair Campbell.

Campbell was the man who urged Blair to take Britain into Iraq on flimsy and blatantly dishonest pretexts and thereby caused the loss of a great deal of life. Yet Campbell continues to lord it even now and seems to be regarded by parts of the Media rabble as some sort of knowledgeable guru. He was and is but a thug, as does Cummings appear to be. If Bunter B has any common sense, he will get rid of the man before Cummings gets rid of him.

But I can only shake my head in wonderment at all the current hysterical clamouring for some mystical deal. A deal was not mentioned on the original ballot paper. It was a simple choice between leave and remain. Along with over seventeen million others, I chose to leave but three years and three months later, I am still waiting and no longer feel that there is much hope of my vote being honoured.

If these ridiculously bickering baboons – no I mustn’t be rude to the bobbos – let’s call these people members of Parliament although they do not deserve the appellation of politicians; if they really wanted a deal so badly, they would have voted for Mother Maybe’s dismal, defeatist withdrawal agreement. But they rejected that three times.

They don’t want a deal damnit! They want to cancel Brexit and remain as vassals to the European plutocracy. That is not what I voted for and I was on the winning side.

Now they’re planning yet another pointless postponement, even though they can’t agree on what they do want. Most normal people, regardless of how they voted in 2016, are sick to the back teeth of the squabbling, grandstanding and showboating. These clowns aren’t leaders. Surely there must be someone out there who can take charge?

It’s time for this grotesque circus to stop tormenting we voters and get out of town for good. Most of us just want Brexit done and dusted, so that normal service can be resumed and we can all get on with our lives.

But MPs still haven’t got the message. Project Fear is still in full swing. Parliament is still playing silly games. The goalposts have been moved yet again and doubtless will be again in the not-too-far-distant future. Will we, won’t we have another election? I don’t know. The Remainers have been screaming for an election (as recently as last Monday, Jez the Red was calling for one) or another referendum for ages, but now that it is on offer, they don’t want it. Even the Swinson Harpy of the Lib Dems has been crying for another referendum although she did publicly admit that if that also went the wrong way (in her view) she would not accept it.

‘Well Madam, an election is probably an even better indication of what the people want so why vote against it?’

All I can say to these plonkers is ‘why not have another election damnit? I don’t want it and nor do most of the public but the situation is becoming ever more desperate. Let the people have their say again if they must. You twonkers don’t seem to have any idea as to what you should do, so let us all tell you just one more time. Please don’t play the public for complete fools. You can keep on prolonging the agony, but we won’t forget all about it.’

At the moment the people of Britain no longer live in a functioning democracy. We live in a mindless madhouse with our leaders chasing their tails in confusion. Those baboons in the gorge were more refined and sensible than our current political masters. And the way things are going, there will never be an end to this madness. It will continue till we are all as insane as the politicians. It won’t be a great deal of fun but the strange thing is, I think the buffoons in Parliament are rather enjoying themselves.

As Private Frazer of Dad’s Army would put it, “We are all doomed – doomed!!

On that tack, I can’t even find a modern comedy programme that makes me laugh. Perhaps I should go home and live among the baboons. At least their politics make more sense.

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