What can I possibly say about the scenes in Parliament yesterday? The witless rabble who were elected to serve the people, but seem to have completely lost their marbles were scuffling like primary schoolkids (I am possibly being unfair to the kids) and one MP was allegedly knocked to the floor. This is the sort of thing that is expected to happen occasionally in banana republics or some of the less developed African states, but in the Palaces of Westminster?

Surely not!

These people really have lost the plot and whether you voted remain or leave, I am sure you will be as angry about their behaviour as I am.

And it is not only over Brexit that they seem to have lost touch with the people they are supposed to represent. This week a masked gunman managed to shoot himself while obviously engaged in a crime. He was banging on the window of a car in South London when his shotgun discharged.

Good riddance was my immediate reaction, but his local MP, a lass called Ellie Reeves obviously didn’t agree with me. She immediately issued – or whatever one does with such things – a tweet saying, ‘Shocked and saddened to learn of the fatal shooting in Sydenham. My thoughts are with the victim and his family.’

Mine aren’t, Ms Reeves and I don’t suppose too many sensible folks are ‘shocked and saddened’ either. As any soldier will tell you, guns are made to kill and if you carry one around for whatever reason, you are risking your own life as well as the lives of others.

Besides, the man was wearing a mask so he was hardly on a mission of mercy!

Thankfully and at long last, Squeaker Bercow announced yesterday that he is stepping down. I watched excerpts from his speech on the six o’clock news and felt vaguely sick.

Bercow is probably the main reason behind the complete loss of morals or decency in Westminster. Labour’s Hilary Benn (I encountered his father when I was a very young Bobby and was not impressed!) gushed yesterday that Bercow ‘will be celebrated as the backbenchers’ friend and supporter when the history books come to be written.’

What absolute taradiddle Mr Benn. Bercow was the most biased, unfair and profligate speaker there has been and when the said history books come to be written, he will go down as a man who corrupted Parliament almost on his own.

His retirement is almost certainly due to the fact that the Tories – and he was one originally – decided that they had had enough of his shenanigans and announced that they too would scrap tradition and put a candidate up against him in the next election.

I only hope that his successor from whichever party he or she comes will be firm but fair without resorting to being rude and that he or she will do the job of the Commons Speaker to the best of their ability.

It could possibly happen I suppose but I am not holding my breath.

Talking about losing collective marbles, I read a piece this morning that made me clap my hands to my head in total despair. Yes I know the climate is changing and hopefully the days are getting warmer – although I have seen little sign of that yet – but a new report, doubtless produced by some chinless wonders with fancy degrees has warned that cricketers may have to start wearing shorts during matches because of the said climate change.

WHAT!!!!

One of the proudest moments in my not unillustrious cricketing career was the day I was allowed to take the field in long trousers – and that was in a very hot country.

But the ‘Hit for Six’ report which has been given to the World Cricket Committee recommends developing helmets, gloves and pads that keep players cool as well as having more ‘hydration breaks.’

They already break for drinks far too often damnit. These are or should be top class athletes. Surely, they can take a little bit of discomfort without endangering their health. In fact if they concentrate a little more on the state of the game they are involved in, they won’t have time to worry about feeling a little thirsty or peckish.

But this almost unbelievable report warns that heatwaves, droughts and storms are already hitting the sport around the world and the impact of climate change is set to rise. 

‘A rise in heat and humidity poses risks to players, umpires and spectators, while drought could hit the grass pitches the sport relies on.’

Unutterable rubbish!

I learned my cricket on matting wickets so I can’t see that even drought will affect the game too much, but I suppose these people were paid well for spreading gloom and despondency among cricket supporters.

Have I said it before – the human race is rapidly going bonkers!