I was pleased that the Conservatives won the general election and pleased that they gained themselves a majority – and a big one at that – in Parliament. At least it gives them a lever to work with.

But listening to Bunter Johnson’s victory speech outside Number Ten, I felt a prickle of apprehensive doubt. It was a speech that could have been made by that horrible Blair fellow or his gloomy successor Gordon Brown. It could even have been made by Crafty Cameron and it did nothing for my peace of mind.

There was the usual hearty pledge of ‘carbon neutrality’ (whatever that means) by 2050. As far as I can see, the only way they can achieve that is by strangling the economy, destroying efficient power generation and making us all pay for windmills through higher gas and electricity bills. Yet China who have the world’s fastest growing economy sensibly depends on cheap, reliable coal. There must be a moral there somewhere.

Bunter also promised ‘colossal new investments in infrastructure.’ Does this mean even more hugely inefficient projects like HS2, which do no good, cost billions and massively overrun their budgets and timetables – at our expense.

There’s a promise of a ‘long-term NHS budget enshrined in law, 650 million pounds extra every week.’ Oh come on – no amount of extra money can pull the NHS out of the mire in its present form. We could spend every penny the country has on it and it still would not work as it is supposed to. Had he promised a cross party plan to overhaul the entire NHS set up, I would have had more faith.

And there’s the usual thoughtless nonsense about police numbers. This is vacant politicising I’m afraid. The problem with the police is not how many of them there are. It is the fact that they spend their time doing the wrong things, and refuse to return to the simple, solitary foot patrol, which was the original reason for their existence. I know. As a young man, I pounded British pavements for seven long years before going back to my own country. In those days, policing worked damnit!

Unfortunately Bunter is a populist rather than a conservative. He is a London bohemian who doesn’t understand the basic concept of being faithful in marriage. He has proved himself a serial adulterer and doesn’t seem sure how many children he has actually sired. In normal circumstances, I would not hold that against him but suddenly the man has been given enormous power.

He is also rich enough to have no idea as to just how bad, and how crammed with indoctrination, state schools have become and like all senior politicians he doesn’t have to worry about crime and disorder. Since he was Mayor of London, he has surrounded himself with aides who encourage the left wing and politically correct thinking, so beloved by the Corbyn followers.

I was particularly unimpressed by Bunter standing in front of a backdrop inscribed with the words ‘The People’s Government,’ That is a phrase that could have been concocted by Blair’s thuggish sidekick, Alastair Campbell damnit and it filled me with foreboding.

Bunter grandly told us that, ‘In winning this Election we have won the votes and the trust of people who have never voted Conservative before and people who have always voted for other parties. Those people want change. We cannot, must not – must not, let them down. And in delivering change we must change too. We must recognise the incredible reality that we now speak as a one-nation Conservative Party, literally for everyone from Woking to Workington.’

Again this sounds too much like the Blair creature in full flow. Is Bunter perhaps trying to make the Conservatives into New Labour? Crafty Cameron tried this – remember his ‘heir to Blair’ pronouncement? But he came unstuck because he just couldn’t get his own party to like the European Union. Nor did the people. So many of us had come to identify the EU with two things we greatly dislike. One was the abolition of Britain itself and its replacement by a slick, glossy, corrupt and grasping new society that seemed vaguely repellent.

The other was the arrival of migrants in numbers too vast to integrate, with the result that almost every town or district now has a number of separate communities.

How many of us understand or worry about trade deals or tariffs. Most of us – including myself – can’t tell the single market from the customs union. Yet for three years we have been forced to listen to continuous petulant wrangling from our elected leaders without there being any possibility of agreement.

This I am sure is what caused the tidal wave that gave Bunter J his huge majority. Yet when the Conservatives say they’ll ‘get Brexit done,’ they don’t actually mean that the great immigration wave will be undone or reversed. Nor can we expect a rolling back of the cultural revolution that has swept away so much of what was specifically British about customs and laws.

They’re mainly talking about technical trading matters, and the resolution of those will last for years to come. But they will be able to say that we have left, which is after all what the referendum was all about.

And those who hoped to get their country back will be left staring around them and seeing the same old mess. That is why, although I am thankful that the Marxist lot didn’t get in, I am a wee bit apprehensive about the current crop of Conservatives and particularly their leader.

While the British Media clowns write either gushingly or scathingly about the election result here, the media in Zimbabwe are reporting ‘Feasting in a Time of Famine’ over there. The annual conference of the ruling ZANU (PF) party was held this weekend in a little town called Goromonzi and at a time when the United Nations report that eight million Zimbabweans (over half the population) are in urgent need of international food aid to save them from starvation, the sheer excess of the political leadership is grossly obscene.

For seven thousand delegates, VIPs and the top leadership, one hundred and fifty cows were slaughtered to feed them, as well as five tons of chicken and eight tons of maize meal. Add to that bread, rice, fresh produce and other food items completely unobtainable for most Zimbabweans.

Ninety buses provided transport for the faithful even though fuel is in desperately short supply, four boreholes were drilled for water, a large transformer with a back up generator was installed for electricity when most of the country is in darkness and a car park for thousands of cars was constructed.

This frenzy of feasting and opulence is in stark contrast with the realities of life for most Zimbabweans. The average monthly income for a family is approximately four hundred zim dollars, bond notes or whatever paper currency they are using at the moment. A single small chicken in a supermarket costs ninety of these worthless units. A ten kilogram bag of maize meal costs one hundred and nineteen; a loaf of bread costs nineteen, a litre of milk twenty-five. A single mango costs twenty dollars and this in a country where mangoes have always grown freely. Even in the towns, people only have water once a week if they are lucky, electricity only comes on between ten in the evening and four thirty in the early hours. Queues of many hundreds of cars waiting for fuel are an everyday occurrence and if Zanu (PF) cars or government vehicles come along, they are given preference over ordinary motorists.

In the hospitals, the few doctors left say they are praying for their patients as they have nothing to help them with – no equipment, no medicine, no supplies. How many people are suffering and dying at home is obviously unknown.

The country is in a shamefully desperate state and perhaps the reason I have fears for Bunter Johnson’s tenure in Downing Street is the fact that my relatively prosperous homeland, Rhodesia was handed over to the corrupt thuggery of Zanu (PF) by the last Tory prime Minister with a whacking great majority – the late Margaret Thatcher.

I hope that was not an omen.

There was only one item that made me smile in my extensive reading of the newspapers this weekend. A lady columnist quoted the nineteen fifties film star, Joan Crawford on the subject of Christmas parties.

‘Remember, if you are hosting a party this festive season, always add a splash of vodka to EVERYTHING. Nobody ever knows and everyone ends up having a wonderful time.’ 

Somehow I think they were happier days. There was far less about everyday life to worry about – except perhaps hangovers.