Working From Home and Daffodil Sandwiches

It is now more than two years since working from home was actively encouraged by this idiotic government and it seems that the majority of civil servants are still doing it. (I must admit that my new passport arrived pretty quickly so presume some departments are still doing the job they are paid to do)

However, media reports (do we believe them any more?) insist that Whitehall offices are still largely unmanned so I suppose it was only a matter of time before the police decided they were entitled to a slice of this particular cake as well.

Having busied themselves over the past couple of years measuring suspect pizza slices, arresting sunbathers and people drinking tea in public places, raiding gyms and family barbecues, manhandling frightened women at the Sarah Everard vigil while simultaneously taking the knee to Black Lives Matter idiots and skateboarding with ‘eco-warriors,’ the Plod obviously feel they need some kind of reward for their zeal.

With hapless Met Commissioner Cressida Dickhead haggling over her thoroughly undeserved pay-off, these once respected uniform carriers appear to think there might be some sort of reward in it for them, too.

The newly elected president of the Police Superintendents’ Association, Paul Fotheringham, says that police officers should also be allowed to ‘work from home’ in future.

Not only that, but it should also be up to individual officers to determine when and where they report for duty.

Working From Home and choosing their own hours would ‘improve diversity’, he claimed with breathtaking piety.

Anyone living in twenty first century Britain must be more than accustomed to high ranking public servants spouting inanities but this takes the biscuit, even for the modern police. I wondered if it was a media wind up at first, but it did not take much research to discover that this was a direct quote.

Fotheringham also said that adopting flexible rostering would help more young women with children to rise through the ranks.

He went on: “The only way we will continue to be attractive as a career choice, whilst also bringing in people representing our communities, is to become more flexible and forward thinking when it comes to working patterns.

‘Obviously in terms of uniformed officers you are always going to need people available to deal with emergencies, but policing is about many different roles so the challenge for us in the future is to be much more flexible.”

Presumably, since modern coppers seem to spend most of their time patrolling the internet in search of ‘inappropriate’ comments and fashionable ‘hate crimes,’ they reckon they might just as well do it from their bedrooms rather than the local nick.

Fotheringham himself spent twenty eight years as a copper with Kent Constabulary, rising to the rank of Detective Chief Superintendent so one would expect him to know better.

I know little about Kent except that it is home to many of Britain’s most celebrated armed robbers. Most of them settled in the so-called Garden of England after starting life in South East London and making their way up the crime ladder at the expense of other people. So, given his background, you might assume Fotheringham would have some appreciation of frontline policing and its difficulties. Yet judging by his comments last weekend, we’re not talking Slipper of the Yard here.

More like slippers and pipe in front of reruns of Softly Softly or The Bill of an afternoon, with the occasional glance at an iPad. I know all we former cops like to make comparisons with how things were ‘in my day’ but how can policing be done by Zoom, even in this day and age?

We’re currently in the throes of a violent crime epidemic at a time when the police have withdrawn from the streets and refuse to investigate burglaries and car crime as being beneath them. Meanwhile our inept Home Secretary can’t find a replacement for Cressida Dickhead because there is not a senior copper in Britain considered capable of doing the job.

So I suppose if they do all start working from home, nobody will really notice?

How typical it was of our grandstanding Members of Parliament that the Chamber was packed when President Zelensky pleaded for more aid and arms to battle Vlad the Bad. They all cheered him heartily yet the very next day during the crucial debate when Defence Secretary Ben Wallace called for anti-aircraft missiles to be sent to Ukraine, there were only a handful of MPs present.

Five years ago I moved from leafy Gloucestershire down to the West Country and thought I had arrived in a more sensible and down to earth part of Britain. It is pretty too, particularly at this time of year when Spring flowers are blooming everywhere.

Yet only this week, St Blaise council in nearby Cornwall cut down thousands of daffodils in a children’s’ play area because they were afraid that the children would make themselves ill by eating the flowers.

This mass insanity will only come to an end when we all stand up to the hysterical and overpaid desk jockeys who are ruling and ruining so many lives to make themselves feel important

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