I have been quiet over the past few days because it is difficult to keep up with the media storm about the Royal Biscuit and his Tame Yank. I don’t know much about either of them but for me it is the sheer rudeness of it all that grates. How can two people who’ve been given so much still be as selfish and disrespectful as this pair? Because while they have tried to convince us that they are all about charity and saving the planet, it seems to me that what they actually care about is money. They’ve already trademarked their royal ­bottoms so they will be able to flog T-shirts, hats and even pyjamas. They’ve also set up a ­website that PR experts predict could net £1billion in ten years. But worse than all this is their insensitivity and disrespect for the Queen, the monarchy and the British people whose love and loyalty they have abused in order to set up an empire Del Boy Trotter would be proud of. 

Did it even occur to either of them that ninety-three year old Queenie should be focusing on her sick husband and her own aches and pains now – not having to deal with their nonsense? Their announcement this week about quitting royal duties was totally selfish and must have hurt the Biscuit’s grandmother badly yet she was the one who gave them Frogmore Cottage – for which we paid a couple of million to have it done up to their satisfaction – and who for at least eighteen months has been doing her best to meet their ever-growing list of demands. 

Let them go for God’s sake but they must really go, not rely on the taxpayer to subsidise their luxury lifestyle. They speak nobly about becoming financially independent but they certainly show no signs of that at the moment. They want the best things in life but can only have them by taking favours from their super-rich ­cronies – holidays in mansions, private planes, hotels. Even their last few weeks spent holidaying on Vancouver Island was courtesy of some unnamed multimillionaire. 

So, what’s the ­difference between Prince Andrew accepting hospitality from tycoons who want royal favours and what these two are doing?

I don’t suppose for one minute that they will have the courage to relinquish their royal titles in order to pursue the ‘progressive’ new role they are banging on about. Without those titles she will be just another game show host turned minor actress whose star quality if ever she had it, will soon be forgotten and he will be a pleasant but pretty dim former aristocrat with no status that any of their rich ‘friends’ will be interested in. 

What a sordid little saga it has been and the furore shows no sign of dying out. Other minor ‘celebrities’ are screaming about racist attacks on the pair of them in the media, but that really is rubbish. Like his mother before him, these two have courted the media when it has suited them and when they don’t like what is written or said, they throw up their hands and cry ‘racist’ or ‘bullying.’

As the English rugby player Courtney Laws who is also black is reported to have said today, ‘no wonder the word racism is no longer taken seriously.’

Please Queenie, let these two twonks go their own way and let the media concentrate on the more important aspects of life.

While I am no admirer of Bunter Johnson, I have been happy to give him time to prove himself, but one small paragraph in a newspaper caught my eye this morning. It was a report that Jacob Rees-Mogg who is leader of the House of Commons has announced that MPs will get an extra month’s holiday this year, including a ten-day ‘ski’ break in February and extra weeks at Easter and in the summer. So much for reaching out to the ordinary people. Most of us who lent our votes to Bunter wouldn’t know one end of a ski from the other and few people – apart from the royal couple currently in the news – get more than two weeks paid holiday a year.

When will these pratwinkles realise that they are supposed to be like the rest of us and not little Gods enjoying their own private Mount Olympus.

I do wonder fairly frequently why I read the newspapers every day because they make me hot under the collar and raise my blood pressure. The childish selfishness of those who are in positions of influence in this land prove that whatever their intellectual capacity, they are completely and utterly out of touch with reality.

I would be better off living without access to news in one of the bronze age settlements on Dartmoor. I wonder if those long ago folk had the same problems with their own ‘celebrities.’

I have said it before, but Mankind is certainly a peculiar animal – and not a very pleasant one.