I smiled when I read Germaine Greer’s 2015 comment about gender reassignment surgery a week or so ago.

‘I’ve asked my doctor to give me long ears and liver spots and I’m going to wear a brown coat but that won’t turn me into a cocker spaniel,’ she said and she was quite correct. Few thinking people can possibly believe that a man who has his undercarriage altered and wears a dress is a woman.

However that did not stop the more militant members of the trans lobby going ballistic and Greer went straight to the top of their hate list of TERFs – which I believe is what these fanatics label anyone who does not agree with their bonkers view. Apparently it stands for Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists. I suppose but am not entirely sure that there are people who feel trapped in the wrong body but they must be few and far between.

But if someone really wants to endure radical surgery and identify as a member of the opposite sex, that’s fine by me, but the totally intolerant ‘trans brigade’ seem determined to push the boundaries ever further and demonise anyone who dares to dissent.

For a few years they have been looking for new grounds for complaint so when Greer joked about turning into a cocker spaniel, she couldn’t possibly have anticipated what madness would come next.

Now we learn that one of our leading universities is demanding recognition for people who identify as cats.

Are there really such people? I have a friend who loves cats but surely even the most enthusiastic cat lover does not want to identify as one – or am I the one who is out of touch with reality?

Bristol University has just issued guidelines to staff on the correct pronouns to use when addressing those who define as ‘catgender’.

The list specifically refers to ‘xenic’ individuals who do not fit in to ‘the Western human

binary of gender alignments.’ This is gobbledygook of the worst kind and coming from

what is supposedly a place of learning. Where did they dig out the word xenic I wonder.

They go on to describe a catgender person as ‘someone who strongly indentifies with cats and may experience delusions relating to being a cat or other feline.’ And there is more. ‘For example, someone who is catgender may use nya/nyan pronouns.’ Apparently, nyan is Japanese for ‘meow.’

How many people at Bristol University, really do identify as cats? If there really are such people, should everyone pander to their silly illusions? I really do not think so.

But now that catgender individuals have been officially recognised, it can only be a matter of time before there are demands for them to be provided with scratching posts and balls of string to cope with the stress of lectures and exams.

And why stop at cats? If you take this policy to its logical conclusion, students should be able to define as whatever species they choose, complete with their own pronouns. At this rate, this idiotic centre of tertiary ‘learning’ (?) could soon resemble Noah’s Ark. They’ll be ripping out the urinals alongside the litter trays in the non-binary toilets and replacing them with lamp-posts for the convenience of students who define as dogs.

So if Germaine Greer does ever decide to become a cocker spaniel, she’ll be welcomed with open arms.

I give up. Thank the Lord, I did not go to university. Having to admit to having once been a British Bobby is difficult enough.

I don’t know much about the singer known as Adele but she too is at the centre of a trans row because at the recent Brit Award ceremony she dared to say she loved ‘being a woman and a female artist.’

This was in response to yet another ridiculous decision by politically correct organisers to dispense with male and female categories so as not to upset trans people, despite the fact it seems to have upset everyone else.

Predictably, the singer is another one now being called a TERF and hundreds of online idiots are yelling and screaming for her to be cancelled. Surely this nonsense has to stop or be stopped now. Why do we normal people allow trans activists to troll, abuse and cancel folk who dare to say they enjoy being a female artist ‑ or a female anything else for that matter? I am male and proud of it while all the ladies I know are equally proud of being female.

We are lucky we live in a society where trans people can live and be who they want but they have no moral right to be offended by others doing the same. 

I thought I’d seen it all in terms of self-indulgent film stars but this week actress Thandie Newton (or Thandiwe as she now calls herself again) took it to another level when, sobbing, she apologised for not being black enough.

No I am not having you on. This ridiculous woman who regrettably comes from my own country literally wept about the fact that with her light skin she had ‘stolen’ roles that should have gone to ‘darker skinned actresses.’

‘It has been very painful to have women who look like my mom feel like I’m not representing them. that I’m taking from them. taking their men, taking their work, taking their truth,’ she wailed with false tears running down her face.

If it was that painful, why did she do it? Could it perhaps be because she needed to get rich and famous before she found her principles?

On going back to her Zimbabwean name Thandiwe, this melodramatic idiot says dramatically: ‘I’m taking back what is mine.’

Sorry Girl, no one can take your name. You gave it up presumably because you thought, or were told, it was a barrier to you becoming a star. Now you need to stop the hysterics because you are fooling nobody and making Zimbabweans ashamed that you are one of ours.